February 28, 2005

What standard from the Great American Songbook do I hate the most? Glad you asked. Hands down, it's It Don't Mean a Thing (If It Ain't Got That Swing). I hate especially when they do go "Doo-ah doo-ah doo-ah doo-ah doo-ah doo-ah doo-ah doo-ah doo-ah." Doesn't that secretly irritate everyone who ever heard it? I can't believe it doesn't. It's bad enough when Ella does it, but if it's Harry Connick Dickface or someone like that? Put a bullet in my brain.
      Number two on the hate list: I've Got Rhythm. What an annoying little melody. What insipid lyrics. I think I probably hate all of Ira Gershwin's lyrics. Supposedly the chord progressions were important to jazz guys, but what do I care? I wouldn't know a chord progression if it were tossing my salad.
      Also kind of hate God Bless the Child. Because I don't understand it. When Billie Holliday sings it, it's supposed to be a religious experience for all of America, but "God bless the child that's got its own"? What does that mean? No, seriously, I want to know. I will send a $10 Amazon gift code to the first person to explain this satisfactorily.
      The ones I like:

1. All of Me
   The best line: "Take my arms, I never use them." Think about that one for a minute. So much mental illness packed into six words.
2. It Had to Be You
   Johnny Mercer's favorite and a completely perfect song. Not a wasted syllable. All the meanings of the title phrase that emerge, wow. "All," by my count, being three. But still.
3. I'll Be Seeing You
   Ditto for this one. Don't you hate the word poignant? That word has been tortured to death. But if you have lived at all, that's what this song is, almost unbearably poignant. I felt gay just then, saying that, but sometimes you have to brave that gay feeling to speak the truth, brother.