March 27, 2005

--figure one--

Formeost among the problems on the world's mind—nuclear proliferation, if we can use the word "genocide" about the genocide in Sudan, when that Schiavo bitch will die already—is the issue of the keyless entry device for my Subaru. The clicker that unlocks the door. You know the little plastic thingy on those things that lets you thread your key chain ring through? It broke. So I had to carry the device separately from my keys. On more than one occasion I had to go back upstairs to get it after I had already gone down to the garage. I know, I know. It buggers the imagination. But that was the stark reality of it. It does no good to divert your eyes.
      So, any ol' how, to cut to the chase a little bit here, I have solved that problem. All it took was my grommet kit, a scrap of an old tee-shirt, and 45 minutes of drunken hammering. Please refer to figure one. See? A grommet-'n-tee-shirt sandwich all around the keyless entry device. See? Now the key chain ring thing can go through one of the grommets. The sheer elegance of it is enough to reduce a grown man to tears. A man with a lot of hair on his back who smokes cigars while staring sadly at a Mediterranean sunset.