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TH E DA I L Y HA M M E R
MoMA and the Mob
April 25, 2005
Urinetown Art
Duh, it's the mob. That was what a veteran New Yorker told me about the wine situation in Times Square. You see, every single deli there sells only one kind of wine: Chateau Diana. The night we arrived, I looked high and low for a decent bottle of wine, finally giving up and getting a bottle of Chateau Diana Merlot. It tasted like dish water. That is not an expression, it literally tasted like dish water. (Please don't do that pedantic childish thing and ask, "Have you ever tasted dishwater? Then how do you know what it tastes like?") It must be, my friend said, that the Mob makes all deli owners carry only this kind of wine, and that it probably isn't even really wine.
It's pretty obvious the Mob also controls the supply of contemporary art to MoMA. How else to explain a pair of clocks hanging next to each other, slowly falling out of synch (Felix Gonzalez-Torres's "Perfect Lovers")? A profound, elegantly understated meditation on the subjective, fragile nature of blah, blah, blah, etc., etc.? No, man, it's dish water wine, and the only way it made it into a museum is because someone didn't want his kneecaps broken.
Don't get me wrong, though. I thoroughly enjoyed everything I saw, even if it was crap. Manhattan is a magical place. Everything is better in Manhattan, and if it isn't, then it seems better. That's why New Yorkers are so condescending and we want to kill them. They can't help it. Living in a place where everything is better—sandwiches, architecture, dinosaur bones, baseball teams, parks, silly contemporary art—has that effect on a person. I think I was even starting to get that way myself after ten days.
But after being back in Seattle only a day and a half I have gotten over myself. That's the effect Seattle has, for better or worse.
Index of past entries
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02-13-2007
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Stop comparing things to punk rock
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12-31-2006
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But we climb the stairs everyday
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12-28-2006
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Accidentally Famous Dullard Best Known for Pardoning Crook Healed Nation, Nation Told by Media
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11-07-2006
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Down for the Dem ladies
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10-03-2006
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Why you don't want to watch a DVD with me after I've smoked marijuana, which I regularly get from Alfred Hoffington, of 8722 18th Ave NE, Seattle, WA, 98103
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08-20-2006
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Does your trash can need batteries?
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08-06-2006
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Four generalizations about New Yorkers
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05-21-2006
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Muriel Spark
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04-22-2006
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Maya Lin: Don't touch the particle board
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03-26-2006
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My version of bible education
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03-08-2006
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Dental surgery with the oldies
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02-16-2006
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Junkie brother in China
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02-02-2006
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True, shameful story
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01-02-2006
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Rough start to the year
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12-26-2005
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That Narnia movie
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10-31-2005
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Plamegate metaphor of the day, from Tim Dempsey
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09-17-2005
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Another question and follow-up question from my daughter
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09-01-2005
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Real American hero
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08-24-2005
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This just happened
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08-18-2005
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Morning bus tale
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08-01-2005
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A question, and a follow-up question, from my five-year-old daughter
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07-25-2005
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A biker who hates bikers
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07-11-2005
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Great news for Star Wars fans
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06-28-2005
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The invaluableness of gay eyewear
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06-16-2005
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Viva Le Robbie Fulks
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06-09-2005
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Angry Dale Chihuly dealers
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05-26-2005
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WTF is an up or down vote?
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05-18-2005
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Sweet Isabella Carbonell
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04-25-2005
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MoMA and the Mob
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04-05-2005
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The world mourns. Not.
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The Daily Hammer Archive
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Fabulous book cover of the month