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TH E DA I L Y HA M M E R

Muriel Spark

May 21, 2006

Muriel Spark

In the one month and five days since Muriel Spark died, I have read six of her novels and invented a cocktail in her honor, the Muriel Spark. The six novels are:

Loitering with Intent
The Bachelors
A Far Cry from Kensington
Symposium
Robinson
Paddington Station
The Finishing School
I said six, but that's seven titles because I made one of them up. I won't say which (it's Paddington Station). The recipe for the cocktail is:
A whole bunch of vodka
Just a bit of grapefruit juice
Not very much Triple Sec

Shake with plenty of ice, strain into a chilled martini glass.
One of the blurbs on the back of one the novels said, "Reading her work is like savoring a strong cup tea: it's brisk and refreshing, but also biting." Like all blurbs on the backs of all books, this one is true. Except that reading Muriel Spark is not like drinking tea. It's like drinking a Muriel Spark. You should always drink Muriel Sparks while reading Muriel Spark. How many? Not sure. To be on the safe side, drink one per chapter.
      "What are you going to drink tonight?" a co-worker asked me on Friday. "Oh, a few Muriel Sparks," I said. "You just like saying that, don't you," he said. Of course I do. Who wouldn't?
      Like Muriel Spark herself, my cocktail has been named a Dame of the British Empire.
      I have donned a black jumpsuit and ski mask and dropped through ceilings to press All the Stories of Muriel Spark into the hands of dear friends.
      I could say that Muriel Spark's books are dry and brutally funny in a British way, but that would make you picture something familiar and smug, not surprising and daring. You could that she was postmodern before postmodernism existed, but if you are the dreary sort of person who goes around talking about postmodernism, her books are not for you.
      Short passages cannot give an adequate flavor of an entire book. Here are some short passages:
I don't know why I thought of Dottie as my friend but I did. I believe she thought the same way about me although she didn't really like me. In those days, among the people I mixed with, one had friends almost by predestination. There they were, like your winter coat and your meager luggage. You didn't think of discarding them just because you didn't altogether like them. Life on the intellectual fringe in 1949 was a universe by itself. It was something like life in Eastern Europe today.
Loitering with Intent

Robinson lit distress signals every night but when, two nights later, the searchers returned, a torrent of rain had quenched the flares. On both occasions the plane had retreated quickly out of the mist, fearful of our mountain. There was nothing but to wait for the pomegranate boat in August. —Robinson

It is always the same with people who make a fetish of self-control: they strike the most histrionic attitudes. —Robinson

Ewart Robinson suddenly had the desire to ring off. The act of gossiping with her over the telephone was a need, but the need was fulfilled in the act. He did not like it when the conversation seemed to be getting somewhere. —The Bachelors

"He's a pisseur de copie," I said, and I said it because I couldn't help it. It just came out.
      "Oh, God!" said Emma. "That epithet of yours. It's going the rounds and it's ruining Hector's career. I'm not claiming he's a genius, but—"
      "What was that you said, Mrs. Hawkins?" said Sir Alec. Colin Shoe looked up at the ceiling.
      "Pisseur de copie. It means that he pisses hack journalism, it means he urinates frightful prose." —A Far Cry from Kensington

Everybody stopped talking except Masie Young who decided to finish what she was saying to me about the universe. She sat with her crippled leg in its irons stuck out in front of her, which indeed did give her a sort of right to hold forth longer than anybody else.
Loitering with Intent

Muriel Spark was lucky in that she lived a full life. She was unlucky in her book covers, which seem to be competing for the title of Most Ghastly Muriel Spark Cover.
      This is the end of my appreciation of Muriel Spark. Here are some of the ghastly covers I mentioned:

The Bachelors The Finishing School
A Far Cry from Kensington Loitering with Intent
The Public Image Symposium


Index of past entries

02-13-2007 Stop comparing things to punk rock
12-31-2006 But we climb the stairs everyday
12-28-2006 Accidentally Famous Dullard Best Known for Pardoning Crook Healed Nation, Nation Told by Media
11-07-2006 Down for the Dem ladies
10-03-2006 Why you don't want to watch a DVD with me after I've smoked marijuana, which I regularly get from Alfred Hoffington, of 8722 18th Ave NE, Seattle, WA, 98103
08-20-2006 Does your trash can need batteries?
08-06-2006 Four generalizations about New Yorkers
05-21-2006 Muriel Spark
04-22-2006 Maya Lin: Don't touch the particle board
03-26-2006 My version of bible education
03-08-2006 Dental surgery with the oldies
02-16-2006 Junkie brother in China
02-02-2006 True, shameful story
01-02-2006 Rough start to the year
12-26-2005 That Narnia movie
10-31-2005 Plamegate metaphor of the day, from Tim Dempsey
09-17-2005 Another question and follow-up question from my daughter
09-01-2005 Real American hero
08-24-2005 This just happened
08-18-2005 Morning bus tale
08-01-2005 A question, and a follow-up question, from my five-year-old daughter
07-25-2005 A biker who hates bikers
07-11-2005 Great news for Star Wars fans
06-28-2005 The invaluableness of gay eyewear
06-16-2005 Viva Le Robbie Fulks
06-09-2005 Angry Dale Chihuly dealers
05-26-2005 WTF is an up or down vote?
05-18-2005 Sweet Isabella Carbonell
04-25-2005 MoMA and the Mob
04-05-2005 The world mourns. Not.

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